A year ……. a full year to finally get this blog up and running {eyeroll}. And that is the problem with me. Everything has to be perfect. I guess this would be considered a paradox. The very thing that I had been trying to create was also my nemisis. Which is funny, well maybe not funny, but certainly ironic.
If there are those that are not quite sure why I’ve named my blog “living both sides”, it represents being bipolar. You probably already figured that out. But I had to say it so that I don’t get a lot of replies asking me what the weird title is all about.
All my bipolar life I have wanted to write a biography. I started writing it, but not having any formal training in journalism or being an author kind of put a kink in it. I have numerous chapters all started, but when I read it over it’s just, blah. So when I learned of the “blog” phenomenon, I bought in hoping that maybe I could make a difference this way instead. I have to say it has been a lot of fun designing this website. Sometimes frustrating I suppose, but I’m a puzzle person. Give me an issue to research or something to design…..and I am on it!
Thankfully, medication to keep my mania at bay is my lifesaver. If shit hits the fan, I’d better make sure I have enough to get me through at least one month. Who else thinks of that? Well probably other bipolar-ians that are actually on medication. Because we are aware of others who know there is something wrong or maybe have been diagnosed and they still will say, “I don’t need medication”. Hopefully they will realize they do.
{fyi ……. I type like I talk, or think. So please don’t correct all my mistakes. I know they’re there, however without them you’re really not hearing me talk like you and I are face to face having a conversation. I just figured I’d better get that out of the way. ;-)}
My therapist asked, “what makes me angry”……. well let’s see ….. lying. But what is really frustrating to me above all is those who find out you’re bipolar and on medication and somehow they’re wondering if you are apt to become out of control. Now I ask any bipolar person out there that has been taking meds for a long long time, do you feel oddly impaired or out of control? Even a little bit? Ya, me niether. Maybe if there was some huge newspaper article or, I don’t know, a magazine that everyone reads like “People”, and this topic was addressed that the majority of those with mental health medications that take them regularly are just the same as the neighbor next door. But we know that will never happen. Because that would most likely be considered irresponsible by the journalist writting it. Yet on medicine, I am exactly the same as most others. And still I am treated, or at least others quietly assume, that I could snap or lose control. Seriously? So you’re saying that most people considered “normal” don’t lose control or snap? Ya, I didn’t think so.
Well this concludes my rant on why I feel we need address (on a huge scale) all the mental health misconceptions out there. Please let me know your thoughts. Am I right, wrong, misled, out of control? 😉 I would love to hear from others, your feelings or thoughts.